28 Dec 2009
Africa Begins At Napolitano
Or: Ciao, Ceaucescu! Hola, Obama!
Or: Eliding Elena Of Roumania
Or: Dorothy Starkers
Or: Rope Gives 'Till It Hurts
Or: "A Friend" In Candide "Is A Pest Indeed"
Or: Burton On Detente
Or: Two Chechens In Every Plot?
Or: Brave Sir Robber Baron Bravely Ran Away With Me Money
Or: Out Of His Northern League
Massive deficits will never cause Zimbabwe-like inflation. "Preventive care" saves money. So-called "Illegal aliens" won't be covered under my health plan. I favor a "Public Option," not as a stepping stone to a single payer plan, but as competition for private insurance. Primary care physicians are becoming obscenely wealthy by hacking out tonsils willy-nilly. Under a single payer plan all citizens will be treated equally and there will be no que jumping. Immigration reform is not "amnesty" and won't lead to que jumping by illegal - I mean - undocumented aliens - I mean -people. Islam is a religion of peace. So-called "terrorism" can be defeated by treating it as ordinary crime and its source is not the Qu'ran but the fact that so many of its adherents have been consigned to a lower class, middle class, or upper class, existence. Africa is poor because of prior colonialization. Britain is bad because it colonised Kenya. Colonisation was bad but it is good that America is now the colony of the world. Unequal educational or economic outcomes are the result of racism. The West should pay the Third World for the costs of every flood, drought, and storm because they are all the result of global warming. And pay for the terrible costs of its predatory lending to said World -which has paid back every penny of said loans. My belle, Michelle, the former diversity queen of the Chicago Medical Center is not Elena Marie of Romania. Reduction of CO2 emissions by the West will save money, create vast numbers of high-paying "green jobs," invigorate its economies and prevent further global warming.
The wealthy Nigerian banker and father of Umar Abdulmutallab, who bravely gave warning of his son's radicalism has graciously offered 100 million Pounds Sterling to help strengthen our Homeland Security. The funds will be wired immediately after Congress appropriates funds for postage, handling and good will.
China is our friend and partner and will give us enough rope to hang together as long as we continue to give, or let them steal, enough of our military secrets. Crime will be drastically reduced if ownership of guns by private citizens is made unlawful and let's not "drill, baby, drill," because gas smells awful.
You might as well lie.
- Barack Mugabe Obama
P.S. We won't need additional coal-fired power plants because of efficiencies derived from the "smart grid" of the Voltaire Volare of Upper Volta in what will surely be the best of all possible worlds:
Muuuuuuuuuu - gaaaaaaa- beeeeee - oh - oh - oh - oooohhhh....
When the big crescent moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie
We'll be prosperous and free pododomaaaaaaaaaniiiii
"big crescent moon," eh?
- Captain Sir Richard Burton, The Sufi Master
(just poulet'n' your chechen leg, guv'ner)
[I apologize to the Gentle Reader for the superfluous puns; throwing in all but the kitchen stink]
If you can't stand the "heat," get out of Hell's Kitchen.
- Dutch "Oven" Schultz
If you can't stand Heat, don't rent the DVD. Oh, and by the way, as "so-called" "reactionry" was told by a pathology resident a few decades ago (whose father was said to be a prominent philosopher in Italy [the devil take me if I can remember his name or that of the Ugandan(?) path res.of Pakistani Muslim origin who claimed familiarity with that philosopher's work - sigh - no ways ah kin keeps up wif HF's name droppin']), "Africa begins at Rome."
- Al Pacino & Robert De Niro