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Wednesday, 31 January 2007
Better than a poke in the eye
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Eye-watering story from China in today's Times:

A man found himself in ocular discomfort. His local doctor discovered that the patient had adopted a cavalier approach to eyecare: leaving his contact lenses in for a whole year. Citing difficulty of removal as the explanation for his foolishness, Liu, 40 added: “I have some eyedrops for when the lenses feel uncomfortable.” This worked reasonably well for some time . . . until his eyesight degenerated, so Liu came up with a brilliantly simple solution: he inserted another pair of contact lenses. Next, he said, he put a pair of used disposal contact lenses over the other two pairs in his eyes, by then wearing three pairs of lenses. Doctors hope that he refrains from adhering to this policy when using, for example, socks and plasters.

I'm not at all squeamish, but with one exception - I could never wear contact lenses. The idea of poking something in my eye makes me shudder. I have inherited my father's 20/20 distance vision, which means that at some stage I will need reading glasses. I rather like the idea of looking over them at people; I imagine that it will make me feel superior. The disadvantage seems to be that you have to take them off to see where you're going, then you can't read anything when you get there. Perhaps the answer is a monocle. This would take the superiority thing to new heights, as you could open your eyes wide and let it fall out whenever somebody says something untoward or confuses "may" and "might".

Monocles should be the new cool. They're a lot cooler than Ray-Bans.

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Posted on 01/31/2007 6:14 AM by Mary Jackson
Comments
31 Jan 2007
Send an emailMary Jackson
Surely the whole point of a monocle is that it's visible. I never knew there was such a thing as a monocle contact lens.

As for Hugh - I think it's more about highbrow than eyebrow. He just raises the tone slightly and exposes the baseness of those around him.

31 Jan 2007
Morgan
Mary,

For some years I've been wearing an extended wear monocle contact lens which means I can sleep in it. I remove it once a week for cleaning.

It may not provide as much fun or be as cool as the one you're contemplating, but it eliminates keeping track of one more thing(s). You might want to at least try one.

I've never met anyone more superior than my second grade teacher. At least twice a day whenever a pupil, consumed with glee at having completed a project, would announce "I'm done", she would raise her head, slowly gaze around the room, fix her gaze upon the culprit, raise her eyebrows and say "food is done;people are finished". Mother on the other hand, just needed to raise one eyebrow to get her message across.

Does Hugh raise one or both eyebrows?