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Thursday, 31 May 2007
Seven Underwhelming Wonders of the World

The Seven Wonders of the World (I always forget the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus, don’t you?) are not enough. There are to be Seven New Wonders of the World. And they are utterly dreadful:

  1. Sydney Opera House
  2. Eiffel Tower [You're joking. Blackpool Tower is better - M.J.]
  3. Burj Al Arab Hotel, Dubai [What??!! It's hideous.]
  4. Statue of Christ the Redeemer, Rio de Janeiro
  5. Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco
  6. Empire State Building, New York City
  7. Channel Tunnel [Flood it now!]

A reader - possibly an American - lists his own preferences:

#1 The US Constitution
#2 2nd Amendment, US Constitution
#3 The Old Testament
#4 The new Teatament
#5 The Twin Towers
#6 Israel, State of
#7 Starbucks
#8 Silicon Chip
#9 Hubble
#10 1st Amendment, US Constitution.

That's ten. Eleven if each of the Twin Towers counts as one, or nine if they count as none. And what's a Teatament (#4)?

Posted on 05/31/2007 6:03 AM by Mary Jackson
31 May 2007
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Ah yes, the 8th Wonder of the World, Silicone Valley (about 89,000 Google hits).  Prof Google also informs me that the full name is Robert Seymour Bridges who does not figure in the open book or Open Kimono quiz posted by Mary today or the middle school classic by Seymour Hare(alt. version- Seymour Butz).  With disrespect to putting down "The Testament of Beauty" and the hard-cover copy (I'm waiting for the pocket-pool edition) of Angus Mclaren's Impotence  flaccidly reviewed by John Derbyshire, there's Dorothy Parker's quip (hat tip to the RedStarTribune), "This is not a book which should be tossed aside lightly.  It should be flung [see another kiddie classic- by Hoo Phlung Poo] with great force."
For all I know, John doesn't like music by Limp Bizkit either.  I'm partial, not so much to Winchester Cathedral, but to Malcolm Mclaren's Sex Pistols:
"Sub mission
Going down down
Dragging her down
-nasty, misogynist lyrics, to be sure, but, I humbly submit, a great punk tune -which as previously posted makes lil' ol' Walter Mitty, me, think, not of submission to Allah, but of our guys and dolls and your gobs and birds sinking Iran's diesel subs - just to get their attention.
I never saw the Sex Pistols, but did thrill to PIL at First Avenue in Minneapolis. After doing a cover/homage of Led Zeppelin's Kashmir, Johnny Lyddon lurched into a rousing rendition (not, arousing edition, Angus, Dearie) of The Flowers of Romance. It has a Middle Eastern sort of riff; swell for commuting.  And who says that the Islamic world hasn't made great contributions to music?

31 May 2007
Hugh Fitzgerald

What's a "Teatament"?

You must be  unaware of the best-seller  by that most successful plastic surgeon in all of Beverly Hills, Dr. Robert Bridges,  "A Teatament of Beauty." Pamela Anderson couldn't put it down.

31 May 2007
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The Pendulum and the Pitts*
The New Teatament, discovered in a cave in the Yugoslavian break-away Republic of Mondegrin, is actually?not all that impertent.? (Nor is it part of the product line of Orbit chewing gum) Still, it's good to see?Mary on the same page of that book by Angus McClaren with John Derbyshire, who, if memory disserves, is fond of the quotation, "Depend upon it, Sir: The impotence of age will creep out." -as in a famous suicide-by-shotgun note recently found in Cuba, "The Impotence of Being Ernest."
The Telegraph article also lists the Seven Wonders of Britain which includes the Humber Humber?Bridge (made famous by VVN), The Angle of the North, Maidenshead,?and the Tower of Big Ben, although not the Westminster Abbey or Cathedral(both distinct from Custer's Last (ironic)?Lament, "Winchester?Repeater, you're bringing me down...")?which is bringing down Hugh and which reminds one of
"England swings like the pendulous do,
Boobies on bicycles, two by two..."
*This fits the piece about as badly as the following bloated commentary which may have been the first to toy with Westminster/Winchester: