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Do Nothing Till You Hear From Me
Some, reading this story, will be so furious as to want immediately to do the only decent thing: that is, to rush right out and start up an illicit sexual relationship, or two, or three, pour épater ces primitifs pakistanais avec ses moeurs sauvages de Donga Bonga. Should you be female, and so inclined, please resist doing anything rash. Instead, with your thoughts partly collected in tranquillity, write to House Doctor, NER, who is one of those selfless médecins sans frontières, un vrai médecin malgré lui (perhaps you can guess his name), and he will draw up a plan for long-term therapeutic intervention.